Something to think about
by findmyway
Summary: Phoebe and Chandler: something to think about. My collection of C/P oneshots.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay, I've thought long and hard about this, but I finally decided to put up some Chanoebe oneshots, based on some cute scenes between them. This story can be compared to my: " I hope ****you know how much you mean to me", just with a different pairing****. First**** up: TOW Phoebe's dad.**

**Disclaimer: Do I own Friends? No, of course I don't, silly.**

Chandler was sitting in the backseat of Phoebe's cab, Joey next to him, as they were on their way to Phoebe's long lost dad. Chandler stared at his blonde friend for the umpteenth time that evening, wondering how she was holding up. Finally finding out who her dad really was after all these years, must have had an enormous impact on her. He didn't really know all the details of her situation, but he still remembered how depressed he'd been, when his dad left his mom all those years ago. Frankly, if it were up to him, he wouldn't want anything to do with the guy ever again, but here was Phoebe: wonderfully optimistic Phoebe, having a go at getting to know the guy that hadn't been man enough to raise her. He really did admire her in a way.

Just then, his thought process was brought to an abrupt halt, when Phoebe announced: " Ooh, this is it, 74." and slammed down on the brakes, effectively causing him and Joey to bang their heads into the plexiglass wall.

" Oh, so that's what this is for," he commented dryly, when he'd finally recovered somewhat.

" Wow, this is it, I'm gonna meet my dad. This is like the biggest thing ever, huh," his friend proclaimed excitedly.

" Yeah," he had to agree. It was big stuff. He could only imagine what she must feel like.

" Sure is," Joey chimed in, trying to be supportive.

" Okay, here I go. I'm goin' in," the blonde declared, still staring at the house that belonged to the man she'd never really got to know.

" Alright,"

" Good luck, Pheebs," her actor friend encouraged her, silently hoping that she'd get out of the car, so him and Chandler could finally get started on their christmas shopping.

" Okay, here I go. . . here I go. . . I'm goin'," Phoebe brought out with a fixed, nervous smile, while remaining right where she was.

" Pheebs, are you gonna be okay?" Chandler inquired in concern, as he gently placed his hand on her shoulder.

" Yeah, yeah of course, no. I'm getting in there right now, ring the doorbell, you know, do seem dad-meeting," she recomposed herself, as she got up and promptly left the car.

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S.**

It was about two hours later that the guys were fast asleep in the backseat, as Phoebe made her gazilionth attempt at reaching the house. She still couldn't pluck up the courage to reach the door however and when she'd reached the mailbox, she quickly turned around and rushed back over to the car.

" Okay!" she announced, once she had safely returned to her seat, causing her two friends to wake up from their little snooze.

" How far'd ya get?" Joey inquired, still feeling a bit drowsy.

" Mailbox," the blonde replied enthusiastically.

" Alright, we're gettin' closer," Chandler declared, trying to encourage her to go on.

" Uh-huh."

" Pheebs, what's goin' on?" his best friend asked worriedly, sensing that Phoebe wasn't exactly eager to continue this mission.

" No, it's just like, ya know, it's a whole mess of stuff, ya know. It's like, yesterday, ya know, my dad was this, like, famous Burma tree surgeon guy and, ya know, now he's a, a pharmacist guy and. . ."

" Well, maybe he's, maybe he's this really cool pharmacist guy," Joey tried, hoping to cheer her up. He really didn't like seeing her in this insecure state. If Phoebe wasn't confident anymore, what would the world come to?

" Yeah, maybe, yeah. You know, and, and I'll knock on the door and, and he'll hug me and I'll have a dad. Ya know and I'll, I'll go to his pharmacy and everyone will be really nice to me 'cause, you know, I'm Franks daughter," the masseuse began optimistically, bringing a smile to both of the guy's faces.

" Well, so why not go knock?" Chandler inquired softly, trying to urge her to take her chance and get to know her dad. After all, she did have a right to know him.

" Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I… I just don't think I'm ready to lose a real one," Phoebe explained dejectedly, a hint of a tear now shining in her eye.

The boys then threw each other a quick glance, before Joey stepped up in trying to comfort one of the most important people in his life.

" Pheebs, that's okay. You took a big step today."

" Yeah?" she asked unsurely.

" Yeah, and someday when you're ready, you'll make it past the hedges," Chandler added. He wanted to get all reassuring and make her feel good, but he knew how he wasn't that good in it sometimes, cracking awkward jokes instead, so he'd just settled for stating what he'd just said. Then however, he decided to try something different to comfort her, as he gently took her soft hand in both of his. He was actually kinda bummed that Joey had already covered her hand for the most part, as he secretly very much enjoyed holding hands with her. ' God, her fingers are so warm, how can they be like this when she's just been out in the cold?' he found himself thinking, as all the while, the kind smile that graced his lips got even broader.

" Yeah, and when you do, he'll be lucky to have you."

" You guys. I'm sorry about your shopping," Phoebe stated genuinely.

" Oh, that's okay, we'll figure something out," Chandler reassured, not wanting her to feel even worse, because they didn't get their presents. After all: it wasn't her fault that him and Joey had been too lazy to go gift-hunting earlier.

For a while the three friends just sat there, in a comfortable silence, until Joey suddenly asked rather abruptly: Uh, listen Pheebs, I know you're not goin' in there, but do you think it'd be alright if I went in and used his bathroom?"

Upon hearing this, Chandler quickly shot him a disapproving look.

" Fine, fine there are a bunch o' trees out here as well, I'll go number one against one of them."

" Joey, have you looked outside? You'll freeze your ass off," Chandler tried.

" Oh come on, Channy, I really have to go," the actor pleaded, shutting his eyes tightly while wiggling about in his seat.

" Ugh, just get out, man. And for the love of god: can we please stop with the Channy? Despite certain, feeble proof of the opposite, I am actually still not an eight-year old girl."

" Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, dude. Gotta pee, see ya," Joey threw back, before he hopped out of the car, leaving only Phoebe and Chandler.

" Can you believe that guy?" Chandler asked, pointing in the general direction of his friend, while shaking his head.

" Uhm… yeah… no, uhu… what?" came the somewhat disoriented reply.

" Pheebs, it's gonna be alright," he muttered, as he quickly placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

" Oh, is it?! Is it?!" the blonde bit back, startling her friend tremendously.

Upon seeing his reaction, Phoebe let out a deep sigh, then brought out: " Oh, I'm sorry, Chandler, but this… this whole thing is just so confusing. You know all this time, people have been lying to me, trying to make me believe that my father was this… ideal, flawless man and I… I just came to accept that as the truth over the years. And now… now I just feel so stupid for just… taking all that crap for the truth. I mean, somewhere in the back of my mind I… I always knew that he was no good. I mean: when I was a kid and he went away, I really resented him, but then when my grandma started painting this… perfect picture of him, I… I… kinda got this glimmer of hope again, you know. I wanted to believe that there was some good in him and now… all those illusions," she paused for a second to roll down her window and stick her hand out, as in throwing something away. " out the window," she finished with a bitter smile.

" Pheebs…" Chandler began, feeling terrible for her when he saw that dull look in her normally vibrant green eyes.

" God, I feel like such a naïve little… naïve person, I feel like a fool, like a fool!" she interrupted him, right before breaking down in barely audible sobs.

Seeing and hearing what was going on, her friend didn't hesitate to climb in the front and softly pull her into a cordial embrace.

" Phoebe, no don't do this to yourself. Hey, you are in no way a fool, alright? This is your father we're talking about. Of course you want to think of him as this awesome, giving, kind-hearted guy. If anything, I admire you," he cooed into her ear, while he soothingly rubbed her back.

Phoebe only chuckled, then hiccupped: " Right, like I'm supposed to believe that."

" No, really I do, you're sporting such a positive approach to things, me I used to whine and bitch about my dad every day. And… I also wet the bed, but that's a different story… But anyway, what I'm trying to say in my unique, hopelessly dreadful way is that I… that I was so lucky compared to you, Phoebe. I learned a lot from you, you know: I'm counting my blessings these days and it's all thanks to you."

" Really, you mean that?" Phoebe asked quietly, slowly pulling back from the hug, a small smile now flirting with the corners of her mouth.

" Heck yeah, you're the most cheerful woman I know and the toughest, at that. You've got balls, Phoebe Buffay!" Chandler proclaimed strongly, then awkwardly stuttered: " I mean… I don't mean you've got balls… like balls balls… like literally that you're a man or…"

" Oh just shut up already, you… you big goofy guy… you," she retorted playfully, while lightly hitting him in the head, a broad happy grin making itself known to her lips.

Then, all of a sudden, he found himself getting lost in her whole appearance again, as he took in that adorable smile and those vivid, sparkling eyes of hers. ' Oh my god: I did it, I brought the glimmer back in her eye! Woohoo, at least one thing I did right tonight. God, she's so beautiful,' he found himself thinking, his brain seemingly melting as he was so caught up in her.

Then as if his mouth had an idea of its own, he subsequently blurted out: " You are so beautiful like this."

" What?!" the feisty blonde exclaimed, while hurriedly distancing herself from him, prompting Chandler to clamp a hand over his treacherous lips.

" Uh…uhm… fle… flen… flennan?" he squeaked nervously.

" You… you just called me beautiful, didn't you?" his friend inquired knowingly, finding his sudden embarrassment quite cute.

" Uh… I… I… yesss," ' the transponster' admitted, trying desperately not to make any eye-contact with her. Then, he found himself greatly surprised when she suddenly tilted his chin.

" That's so sweet of you to say, I think you deserve a little reward for that. Don't you think you should get a little reward, Chandler? A prize… if you will?" Phoebe subsequently purred teasingly, as she moved her face up close to his, almost, but not quite yet causing their lips to touch.

" Uhm, uhm… Phoebe, wha…" he gulped.

" Hush, it's time for your prize now," she whispered huskily, her hot breath fanning across the stray bristles of hair on his upper lip, before she finally closed the distance between them, welding her lips to his in a slow, sweet kiss. As soon as he felt the delightful delicacy that was Phoebe's mouth, Chandler eagerly reciprocated, exploring every last inch of her soft, velvety lips, while she moaned and tangled a hand in his short, spiky hair

" Oh… oh wow," Chandler whistled, when it had finally come to an end, truly meaning his words. His knees were in fact weak, from a simple little kiss that didn't even involve that much tongue.

" It really was," Phoebe agreed breathlessly, still swooning at the wonderful feeling she'd experienced, when she'd first felt Chandler's mouth hesitantly brushing itself against her own.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, until Phoebe suddenly spoke again: " Well, you comforted me alright."

" Anytime, Pheebs, anytime," her friend muttered blissfully, while he slowly wove his long, warm fingers in between her slender ones.

Just then, they both jumped, when they heard a frantic tapping at the window.

" Hey, let me in here! The doors are locked and I'm being chased by a huge raccoon!" Joey yelled, barely audible through the glass barrier that was currently separating him from his friends.

" So what exactly did you have to drink, before we came up here? Fifty gallons of the Mississippi?" Chandler quipped sarcastically.

" No! I just got lost and than this raccoon started watching me every move and... oh my god, there it is!" the actor explained, right before jumping into his friend's arms, emanating an almost feminine shriek in the process.

" That… uh, that's not a raccoon, Joe. It is in fact a squirrel and newsflash: squirrels do not in any kind of universe resemble raccoons," ' the transponster' clarified, while firmly placing Joey back onto his feet.

" And why didn't you just get in the cab?"

" Because I couldn't get the door open, I pushed and pushed… nothin'," the Italian whined, prompting his friend to let out a soft sigh: " You're supposed to pull it, Joe."

" Hey, what are you two rascals doing out there?!" came the voice of Phoebe.

" Nothing, Pheebs! We're coming right up!" Chandler replied, before turning to Joey.

" Come on, let's get back home."

" Oh… home, where there are no raccoons," his friend sighed happily.

" It was a squirrel," Chandler corrected, when him and Joey had gotten back in the car.

" Good, everybody's here, then we can leave… oh no, wait you still have my chichi, Chandler. You'll have to give it back."

" Alright, here it is," her friend stated, as he handed her the note, grinning slightly when the tips of his fingers brushed against hers.

" I'm still saying it was a raccoon," Joey sulked, defiantly crossing his arms. And he kept at this for almost the entire ride back home, with Chandler trying to convince him that raccoons didn't look like that, while Phoebe kept comforting him, saying things like: " Oh, I believe you, sweetie. If you say it was a raccoon, than that's what it was."

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S.**

" Ooh toilet seat covers!" Phoebe exclaimed enthusiastically, once she'd opened one of the guy's admittedly crappy presents.

She then quickly rose up to thank both of her friends, with a quick peck on the cheek.

When she'd reached Chandler, she couldn't help herself, as she allowed her lips to linger on to his jaw, just that little bit longer, effectively driving him crazy.

" Thank you," she whispered in his ear.

" Oh, those gifts were all Joey's idea really," Chandler mumbled modestly. Then, there appeared a playful glint in his eye, as he suddenly thought of something.

" Say, Pheebs, you know... if you'd like to trade it, that's always possible," he suggested, winking at her, while subtly gesturing to Monica's box of ribbed condoms.

" Oh no, I don't want to… oh, oh. Yeah, actually, Mon, would you mind terribly trading with me?" Phoebe asked, once she'd finally understood what he was getting at.

" Nah, you can have 'em. I'm never gonna find a boyfriend anyway," Monica threw back sadly.

" Oh, okay thanks," her friend declared cheerfully, as she quickly snatched the pack away from the table.

" Oh, damn. You know what, you guys? I'm pretty beat, so I think I'm gonna go call it a night. See ya all tomorrow," Chandler announced, as he fiercely started stretching himself. They all said their goodbyes, as he hugged all of the girls and whispered a quick something in Phoebe's ear. Nobody else really taking any notice of this occurence, as Rachel was busy comforting Joey about him nearly getting attacked by a gigantic raccoon and Ross was whining to Monica about the amount of gel he used in his hair.

And sure enough, five minutes after her new love interest had left, Phoebe got up from the couch and stated: " Well, I'm tired, I think I'll be heading back home, hit the sack."

" Bye," everyone muttered, still too caught up in their separate conversations, to notice where she was actually going.

" Chandler?" she brought out seductively, once she'd entered apartment 19. Then got confused, when she didn't get any reply.

" I'm right here," she suddenly heard, as two arms wrapped themselves tightly around her from behind, causing her to squeal with joy.

" So you ready to get comforted some more?" Chandler inquired huskily, right before sucking her earlobe into his warm mouth, provoking a loud gasp from the object of his affection.

" Ready, as I'll ever be, come on, cowboy," was the last thing the masseuse uttered, before she led him into his bedroom so he could "comfort" her better.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, so next up, by request: TOW Dr. Ramoray dies. This one's gonna be a bit longer, I'm afraid. Enjoy, my dearest Chanoebe shippers, I know you're still out there, LOL. **

Chandler was nervously fidgeting about with the bars of his foosball table, as he desperately tried to get Phoebe as far as to play along. Ever since Joey left, he'd been trying to spend more time with his other friends, in a feeble attempt to get rid of that awful feeling of loneliness he couldn't help but succumb to sometimes. Eddy wasn't really an option, since he didn't exactly know him yet and he felt a little bit uncomfortable at the prospect of starting up a conversation with his new roommate.

" Pheebs, play with meeee," he begged, while fiercely jumping up and down, really hoping she'd answer affirmatively.

" Noooo, this game is grotesque: twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a steel bar, forced to play soccer forever! Ahh, hello? Human-rights violation!" Phoebe retorted defiantly, as she mirrored his actions, bouncing around on the other side of the table.

" Ya know, Pheebs, don't feel so bad for 'em. After they're done playing, I break out the little plastic women and everybody has a pretty good time," her friend quipped, in a final attempt to convince her.

" Why don't you play with your roommate?" the blonde asked, while getting a bottle of beer from the fridge.

Chandler sighed, as he'd really been hoping to avoid that little question.

" Ah, he's… uh… he's not a big fan of foosball," he ultimately muttered, as he juggled around with a yellow tennis ball he'd found on the counter.

" Uh oh, ooh, are we not getting along with the new boy?" Phoebe inquired, hoping to get a little more out of Chandler.

" No he's… he's alright, he just uh… he spends most of his time in his room."

" Maybe that's because you haven't taken the time to get to know him. Let's remedy that, shall we?" his blonde friend suggested, as she took the ball from him and walked away.

" We don't need to remedy that," Chandler protested hurriedly, while following closely behind her.

" Oh yeah, it'll be fun!" the masseuse exclaimed enthusiastically, right before forcefully throwing the ball at Eddie's door.

" What was that?" The man in question asked on an irritated tone, once he'd emerged from his bedroom. ' I have a funny feeling about this guy,' Chandler found himself thinking, as he noted the look of sheer displeasure on Eddie's face.

" Hi…um, I just thought that it would be fun if the three of us had some beers and got to know each other," Phoebe suggested and for a minute, a sense of relief flooded Chandler's senses. At least he wouldn't have to be entertaining his roommate on his own: Phoebe was going to stay here with him.

" Yeah alright, that sounds alright," Eddie agreed, as he slowly walked up to them.

" Oh good, okay. Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my… uhm… Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Uhm… tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun, bye," the blonde subsequently announced, causing her friend's momentary feel of courage to fade away.

" That was so lame," he then mumbled to her, while she was getting her coat.

" I know, yeah. Okay, talk to him," Phoebe stated happily, right before walking out the door and leaving.

" So… you uh… you think that Speed Racer guy gets a lot of tickets, eh?" Chandler began awkwardly, in an attempt to strike up a conversation.

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. **

It was only about an hour later, that Chandler was sitting in his recliner, still a bit baffled by all the weird stuff Eddy had thrown out. Just then, the door opened to reveal none other than Phoebe.

" Hey, so how did it go with the new boy? Are we liking him yet?" she asked with a broad grin, as she placed her guitar case down on the counter.

" Uhm… no not really," her friend deadpanned, still recalling the way his roommate would laugh maniacally at the strangest things.

" Oh, oh no! Why? He seemed like such a nice guy," Phoebe proclaimed indignantly , while taking her place in the chair next to him.

" How would you know?" Chandler inquired bitterly, right before gulping down the rest of his beer.

" Well, you know, there's his cheekbones : you can tell a lot from them… and, oh plus: his aura was bright green, meaning he was happy and in a good mood!"

" Oh, he was happy and in a good mood alright… just, you know… for all the wrong reasons! The guy's totally crazy, Pheebs!"

" Oh I'm sure you're only saying that t… what?!"

" Yeah, yeah, I mean it, Phoebe: that Eddy is a straight nutjob, he's cuckoo, crazy, insane, very ready for a mental institution! I mean: this guy, he… he spent half an hour telling me these really sad stories about how his girlfriend left him and how his dad used to have a serious drug addiction, all the while laughing like he'd just won the lottery!", he exclaimed, as he jumped up from his Barcalounger and agitatedly started waving his hands about, like only he could do.

" Chandler… Chandler, hey calm down, okay, you look like you're about to have an anxiety attack," his blonde friend tried, while she took a hold of both his shoulders and lightly began to shake him.

" Oh… okay, I'm okay, it's all good," Chandler reassured her, after he'd let out a deep breath.

" Oh, oooh, are you sure?"

" Yeah."

" Oh, well that's too bad, I really enjoyed shaking someone up again, last time I got do that to a guy was in prison, when he owed me some money," Phoebe explained sadly, as she reluctantly released him.

" Uhm… okay then," the 'transponster' brought out, more than a little bit disturbed at the revelation that she regularly used to manhandle guys for a sport.

" Yeah, as weird as it may sound, I really do miss being in prison sometimes, there's no other place quite like it," the masseuse sighed happily, briefly taking the time to reminiscence her past.

" Ooh yeah, you know what they say: prison sweet prison and prison is where the heart is. Can we now go back to my problem, please?"

" Oh… okay, alright, sure: what was it again?"

" Psycho in the house, I repeat: psycho in the house!" Chandler shouted, while frantically pointing at Eddy's door and drawing the outlines of an house with his fingers.

" Oh, ooh right, yeah okay… well, about that… are you sure you didn't just imagine him to be all flaky?"

" What?! No, I'm telling ya: he is NOT right in the head. Why would I possibly imagine a thing like that?"

" Well, there are a lot of factors at play, but the main reason for you to conjure up such a picture is of course the cycle of negativity… ooh, do you still have some of those eggplants left? They were really yummy the last time I came over," Phoebe asked, abruptly changing the subject, right before walking over to the fridge and opening the door to check its contents.

" Hey, hey, wait a minute? What do you mean: " the cycle of negativity"? Oh no, do… do we have to break it to lift the curse and save the kingdom?" her friend inquired sarcastically, using air quotes for the thing his friend had failed to describe until now.

" Hey, don't make fun, funny guy, the cycle of negativity is an actual concept you know, it was even scientifically proven."

"…And it means…" Chandler asked after a long time, while closing the door to his refrigerator in an attempt to get Phoebe's attention.

" Oh, right you DON'T know what it means: well you know, basically it's just… you're sad about Joey leaving, right?"

" No," he scoffed, placing his hands on his hips.

" Chandler," Phoebe prompted, as she send him a piercing look.

" Oh, alright fine, I miss him, of course I do, you know, only a little bit though. Nothing to worry about."

" Chan-dler!"

" Well, okay then: I miss him a lot, alright?! He's my best guy friend, it's only logical!" ' the transponster' finally admitted.

" Right, now that that's settled… so you miss Joey, then you get in this new roommate way too quickly, when you're secretly not over your old one yet and…"

" Wow, wait a second… now you're making it sound like we're a couple or something," Chandler brought out indignantly.

" Well, your and Joey's situation can kind of be compared to one where a couple breaks up, I mean… I'm not saying your gay, you aren't, are you?"

" I'm not gay, Phoebe!"

" Right, I know! Who said you are? They clearly must be out of their mind," his blonde friend chuckled, as she shook her head and pat him on the shoulder.

" Uhm… you just implicated it."

" Oh, well there you have it: I am out of my mind, Chandler! I say lots of crazy stuff I don't actually mean! Now… but… where were we?"

" You were explaining your whole negativity theory to me, if you'd like to continue before we're both dead and gone."

" Right, okay: so you bring home this Eddy and you're not talking to him, obviously, as you're still really mourning the loss of dear old Joey, and he's not talking to you… cause what's the point? Then, when you finally do talk… you're acting all gloomy, cause all you really want is for this guy to leave and your best friend to come back. He then responds to all this negativity with a hostility of his own, and… what's the eventual conclusion?"

" I don't know… please do tell me," her friend stated, crossing his arms and giving her a little skeptical nod.

" You don't like him and he doesn't like you, yeah… that's why you're making up this little story that he's crazy now: you want all of us to dislike him too… so you can just throw him out and shack up with Joey again. Oh, I am such a genius: I still amaze myself every single day!"

" Okay, wait a minute there: as logical as that little theory might sound, I know for a fact that I'm not making anything up, okay? Eddy IS a whackjob. You just come along for one second and I'll prove it to ya," Chandler threw back, right before grabbing her by the arm and leading her into Eddy's bedroom.

" See this right here?" he subsequently asked, pointing to a fishbowl on his night cabinet.

" Yeah, it's a fishbowl… so what? Oooh, oooh, that reminds me: I just wrote this song about a fish… You wanna hear it? It's really good!"

" Uhm… maybe later, right now try to focus, okay? It's not about the fishbowl, it's about what's floating around INSIDE of it, see that little brown fish-shaped thingy over there?"

" Yeah, oh my god, is that… is that a cracker?!"

" It sure is, it most certainly isn't what he assumes it to be: which is you know… an actual fish!"

" Well, I gotta admit that is pretty crazy," Phoebe muttered, while grabbing a hold of the soaked cracker and examining it carefully. Then, she surprised Chandler by promptly sticking it in her mouth and swallowing it down.

" Mmh, it's still good though, salty. I don't think it's been in there for too long," she commented, with a satisfied smile on her face.

" Oh my god, what did you just do?! You murdered his " fish", he's gonna go crazy!" her friend hollered in sheer panic, right before he fiercely started yanking at the strands of his hair.

" No, no he's not gonna go crazy, of course not," the flaky blonde tried calming him down, but it was of no use, as Chandler only seemed to be getting more upset.

" Yes he is, he's gonna go crazy and kill us both, with an axe, with an axe!" he went on, while he agitatedly started jumping up and down.

" Hey, hey Chandler, relax okay? Relax… look at me, have a deep breath and chill out. He is not gonna do anything to either of us. Go to your happy place," the masseuse reasoned, gently placing her hands on both of his cheeks and lightly stroking them with her thumbs.

This still didn't seem to have any effect though, as he appeared to be hyperventilating right there on the spot.

" Oh, get it together, for the love of god!" she roared, promptly striking him in the face in the process.

" Okay, yeah, I'm calm again. Whoo, man, I really needed that… I don't know what got into me just now," the man in front of her retorted, secretly kinda bummed that she'd interrupted her little caress to his jaws. He'd actually found he'd rather enjoyed that.

" Good, okay, and you wanna know something? If he were to do something, he most certainly wouldn't be using an axe, he definitely isn't an axe-type of guy. Trust me, I know axe murderers, I've SEEN axe murderers. There was even one chasing me around the trailer, while I was still living with the albino guy," Phoebe explained, trying to reassure him, this goal clearly backfiring, when her friend brought out an:

" Oh my god! Some guy chased ya with an axe?!"

" Yeah… oh well, it was no biggy, he swung it into the wall next to me, then the cops came and arrested him, the end!" the blonde exclaimed happily.

" How… how the hell can you be so calm about that? If I were to go through that, I'd piss my pants, no doubt about it."

" Oooh, you're so cute, you," his friend cooed, right before she reached out to pat him on the head, as one would a little child.

" Now… anyway, since we've pretty much established the fact that Eddy's not quite your ordinary guy, can we please just go back into the living room? It's starting to get really stuffy in here," he remarked, while pulling at the collar of his shirt.

" Yeah, sure," Phoebe agreed, as they both made their way out of Eddy's room.

Then, Chandler hurriedly flopped down on his recliner and let out a long, deep sigh.

" What am I gonna do, Pheebs?" he mumbled, while dejectedly placing his head down in his hands.

" Aw, you poor bunny," she subsequently declared, right before taking a seat on the arm of the chair and pulling his head to her chest.

" You still really miss Joey, don't you?"

Her friend said nothing, only gave a slight nod. He then surprised her tremendously, when he firmly wrapped his arms around her in a very powerful embrace.

For a few minutes, the two friends didn't speak at all, as they just held onto one another tightly. Then, all of a sudden, Phoebe broke the silence, when she randomly blurted out the following:

" Ooh, I know… I could totally be Joey!"

" What?!" Chandler inquired, yet again finding himself to be baffled by one of her statements.

" Ooh, yeah, it'll be fun, I can play games with you and stuff. I could be a guy, I can become your new Joey… oh, heck yeah!" the masseuse went on enthusiastically.

" Or… you could just play games with me and, you know: NOT be a guy," " the transponster" quipped, sending her a weirded-out look in the process.

" Hey, I could be a guy!" Phoebe threw back in somewhat of an offended tone, while jumping up from her comfortable position.

" No, no, you couldn't be, you know, seeing as you're a woman and all. Furthermore, you're missing something quite vital, that begins with a p and ends in –enis."

" Alright fine, then I won't be! You're missing out on something though. My Joey-impression is a real killer," she finally stated, while she defiantly crossed her arms.

" Not a killer with an axe, I hope?" Chandler asked, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth, effectively causing his friend to start laughing as well.

" You know something, Chan? You sure do say the funniest things sometimes."

" Yeah… so anyway…wanna play a game with me now?"

" Yeah, always, I love games, yay!"

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S.**

It was only about half an hour later, that Phoebe and Chandler where both slouched down in the Barcaloungers again, currently beat from the intense rounds of foosball they'd just been playing.

" Well, I whipped your butt five times, Bing! Looks like I'm the queen of foosball, even though I still don't approve of the way all those little plastic men are treated," Phoebe remarked seriously.

Chandler drew out a long breath, still worn out from yanking at the handles for that long, then retorted: " Yeah, well I know you don't approve, but was it really necessary to dislocate my offense, by sawing through their little balance beam afterwards? I mean: as noble as " operation- free the inanimate objects" may have been, I really can't afford to buy a new foosball table."

" Hey, those little fellas had lost five times in a row, I had to let them move around, I owed it to tiny little soccer players all around the world!" his friend defended her previous practices. Then she picked up a whole handful of the " guys" and each patted them on the head. She subsequently placed them on the armrest and adressed them with the following:

" I fight for your rights! Repeat after me, you guys: we will no longer be used for the sole purpose of kicking around a little fake ball!"

Chandler could no longer suppress a chuckle upon seeing the way she was behaving. In a way, it actually was kind of cute: whenever she was passionate about something, she'd stop at nothing to prove it, no matter what people thought.

" Hey, Pheebs, you wanna play draw?" he suggested, after he'd somewhat regained his composure

The blonde only chortled in response, before dryly boasting: " Oh please, Chandler, give yourself a chance. I excel at draw."

" Fine, how about hide and seek? You go hide and I'll count to…"

" A million," Phoebe suggested boldly, a cheery smile now gracing her features.

" Uhm… actually, I was kind of thinking more along the lines of 50, is that okay too?"

" Yes, but first you have to promise me that there will be no peeking."

" Sure there won't be any peeking, I never do that."

" Yuhu, you do, you liar! You did it last week, remember? And to think that I hadn't even found a place to hide yet, Chandler, Chandler, Chandler," the masseuse declared, while shaking her head in sheer disapproval.

" Alright, fine, I won't peek," Chandler huffed ultimately, throwing his hands up in defeat.

" Okay, that's settled, then I'll go into hiding."

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. ****F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S.**

' Goddamnit, where can she possibly be?' Chandler found himself thinking, still failing to spot for any signs of Phoebe after over twenty minutes of searching.

He finally sighed, then went over to his bedroom and yelled: " Okay, Pheebs, I'm giving up, you win!"

But unbeknownst to him, Phoebe was actually very close indeed: in his closet to be more precise. When he subsequently opened the door to said closet, his surprise was grand and his shrieks were loud, when the feisty blonde popped up, shouted: " Booh!" and leapt out to him, sending them both flying backwards onto his mattress, in the process.

" Haha, I scared you and I scared you good! You should've seen the look on your face: it was priceless! And then that little girlish scream… well that was just the icing on the cake!" the masseuse hollered triumphantly, while putting on a bright smile.

" Oh, eh… you think… you think that's funny, do ya?" her friend asked, wetting his lips with his tongue.

" Yeah, I just said I did, duh!" Phoebe retorted, still having trouble keeping her laughter at bay, especially when she saw the fake- pissed off look on his face. She knew for a fact that he was only playing, after all.

" Oh yeah, well do you find this funny too, huh?" Chandler inquired teasingly, as he swiftly flipped them over, his fingers starting a boisterous choreography up and down her sides. HE knew for a fact that she couldn't take a good tickling session.

" Oh, hehe... no, Chandler stop! Please, haha... stop it, no, Chandler!" she shouted, while trying to free herself from his grip, even though it was really only halfhearted. In the past two minutes she'd actually discovered a new-found joyful dimension to lying in Chandler's admittedly strong arms.

" Ha, I knew you couldn't face up to the tickle twins. Do you surrender?" " the transponster" asked, really already knowing the answer: Whenever fingertips became involved in an extremely dynamic affair with her sides and stomach, Phoebe always gave up.

" Yes, hehe… yes I surrender, just stop tickling me already… oh damn it, Chandler… stop!" she threw back, her body shaking vigorously from the fit of giggles she found herself submitting too, time and time again.

" Haha, I win! I've got you now!" her friend whooped, right before slowly loosening his grip on her arms, hereby unintentionally causing their upper bodies to touch. Phoebe then drew in a sharp breath, at the feel of his hot skin against hers.

" Yeah, you've got me," she subsequently whispered, while staring deeply into his serene blue orbs, hereby evoking some kind of magical current between them, that was previously unheard of. Then, looking down at her flushed, yet enchanting features, Chandler seemed to be feeling it too, as he slowly reached down to brush a strand of hair from her face, all the while leaning closer towards her, until finally their lips met in a slow, tentative kiss. Once that happened, their mouths and tongues seemed all too eager to repeat the playful motions, which were orchestrated by mere fingertips, not even a minute ago.

" Mmh, chandler, feels so good," Phoebe moaned, when his lips and tongue continued their exhilarating journey down her neck, subsequently ghosting themselves over her clavicle. They were just about to advance o, to the next level, when all of a sudden the door opened to reveal none other than Eddy.

" Uh… hey there buddy, any chance you can tell me what happened to my fish?" he inquired, the empty fishbowl in his hands and an unreadable expression in his eyes.

" Yeah, I ate it," Phoebe admitted defiantly, squinting her eyes at him, in an attempt to get " revenge" for interrupting her little, pleasurable make-out session with Chandler.

" Phoebe!" the man in question spoke, now fearing the wrath of Eddy even more than before, when he'd accidentally sat down on one of his dried oranges.

" Oh, hush, I'll handle this," his former friend whispered, then she focused her gaze back on Eddy, who seemed to be shivering from the piercing look in her eyes alone.

" You got a problem with that, new boy?" she asked, slowly advancing on him, like a cat would right before it pounced on his pray.

" Well? I asked you a question, answer it. Where are your manners?"

" I… uh… I, no, no not at all! I can buy a new fish! In fact, I think I'll be heading out to the store right now," Eddy shrieked, right before bolting out the door.

" Oh, I still got it, yay!" Phoebe shouted her victory, while raising her arms in the air.

" Oh… wow… will you… say, would you by any chance... like to marry me?" Chandler managed to stammer in awe.

She only giggled in response, then walked over to the bed and took her place next to her new love interest again.

" All in good time, my love… all in good time," she muttered teasingly, right before rejoining their lips in a new fiery kiss.


End file.
